How to Get Your Ex Back
July 8th, 20093 Simple Steps To Save Your Marriage
July 15th, 2009When a couple marries, they are making a commitment to stay together all their life. It is a beautiful vow that declares there is only one person that they want to be with, and they are prepared to stick with that person, “in sickness and in health, in good times and bad” for ever and ever. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work like that. Nearly half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Think about the last two weddings you went to. Statistically one of those marriages will fail.
When times are good it’s easy to stick together, but when times are harder people often look to ending the marriage as the easiest solution. But your marriage doesn’t have to end badly. With a little work you can save it and return to the happier times. There is a fairly simple 3 step process to go from your current situation where you have a problem with no apparent solution, to the situation where your marriage is happy and solid again.
Follow these 3 guidelines. You can get a more detailed step-by-step blueprint at Win Back Love.
Step One: Decide That You Want It
This is not as simple as it sounds. In fact it is probably the hardest step of the three. It’s easy for you to say you want to save your marriage. It’s similar to simply stating you want to lose weight. That isn’t enough to lose the weight. When you decide you want it you need to make this your number one focus in life. You need only one purpose in your life. Your purpose for existence is now simply this: saving your marriage. What is involved in that? If it means losing your job then you lose your job. If you aren’t prepared to do that your job is more important than your marriage. If it means not seeing your friends, then you simply don’t see your friends at this time. If you won’t do that, it’s obvious that your friends are more important than your spouse. You should always ask yourself if what you are doing will help fix your marriage. Make sure the answer is always yes.
Step Two: Figure Out What Is Wrong
Again, not so easy. Usually the things that trigger arguments aren’t the underlying problems, and it is the underlying problems you need to get to. Sit down with your partner, acknowledge things are not how you would like, and be open about how you are both feeling in the relationship. It’s usually best to let the man go first when you do this. You can get the conversation started by asking them what you can do to make them happier. Often a man’s first response to that will be sexual. Do not assume he’s just being flippant or crude. A man often needs a strong physical aspect to a relationship, so accept his response. Then say “Okay, what else.”
Step Three: Fix It
Once you have acknowledged a problem, and defined it, it becomes so much easier to actually see what the steps are to fixing it. The solution is almost always contained within the problem. If the problem is that your spouse doesn’t feel they get to spend enough time with you, the solution is obvious. In the same way, if they feel they need more time apart you can give them that. The important thing is to identify the real problems so that you know what to fix.
So there you have the tips to save your marriage. It may seem too simple, but if you use available strategies and take these steps you can save your marriage. Don’t give up!
Get Your Ex Back – 3 Ways to Get Them to Talk to You
July 14th, 2009When a couple breaks up it’s common for one of the partners to realize their feelings were much deeper than they had thought, and they would do anything to get their ex back again.
This can of course be difficult if certain things were said during the break up or if the relationship ended badly. It’s possible that your ex is avoiding you by cutting off communication with you and stopping going to the places you went together. If they don’t want anything to do with you it’s very difficult to get communication going again, and you may even have to allow them their cooling off period to show that you respect their wishes for time apart.
But after giving them some space, you need to find a way to tell them how you feel and that you want to get back together. Getting from them not talking to you to communicating again is quite sensitive.
1. The simplest way is to simply call and ask them if there’s a time you can catch up. If they are not talking to you at all you can expect a pretty chilly response to that. So remember that, and be ready to make a peace offering. A good place to start would be by saying you have some things you would like to apologize for, and ask if they would like to meet for coffee.
2. If you fail with the direct approach you could use the help of a go-between. Take care with this, as it can feel really bad to be caught between two friends. Find a friend that both you and your ex trust, and tell them how much you want to be back with your ex. Ask them if they would talk with your ex and find out if there is any way you can make up for your mistakes. And then leave it be. Don’t bug your friend, don’t expect a call the next day and don’t be offended if they say they don’t want to get involved (in fact, you should make sure they understand they are under no obligation to get involved – you are asking a big favor here). You need to be completely honest about the fact your goal is to get back together. Don’t try to play it cool. It’s too late for that.
3. If that doesn’t work, write how you feel in a letter. Remain sincere and don’t go on and on. When it is done let it sit for 24 hours then read over it again and make sure it says exactly what you want it to. With a letter, you want to make sure it gets to the person you’re writing to, and that the person opens it. Deliver it in person, and tell them you are sorry for the hurt you caused. Apologize to them. Ask them to read the letter and to then tell you if there is any way you can make it up to them.
When you are trying to re-establish contact with someone when a relationship has ended badly you have to be sincere and open yourself up for a rejection. Don’t be constantly after them, but give them some space and let them know they can get in touch with you whenever they want to talk it over.
Speak with your ex now. If these techniques don’t work, don’t fret. Check out Win Back Love: How To Get Back The Love Of Your Life, by Annalyn Caras. Her book is a complete step-by-step blueprint to get your ex back.
Get Your Ex Back – 5 Ways to Get Their Trust Back
July 13th, 2009Take the following steps to get trust back. This is the best and most honest way to re-gain the trust of your ex.
1. Apologize. Trust building starts with a true, sincere, honest, heart-felt apology. You must show you are sorry for what you did wrong. Tell your ex that you know you caused them pain and broke their trust. Acknowledge that you are at fault. No excuses. And ask for nothing in return.
Perhaps you haven’t spoken to your ex for a while. That does not matter. Give them a call. You’ll feel better and so will they.
Remember, we’re not begging or bartering. We are making an apology. It’s always a good idea to apologize when it’s necessary.
2. Listen. At this point, it’s important to really listen to your ex. Remember never to make excuses. Acknowledge that they’re hurting. Obviously you don’t want to be judgemental, argumentative, or defensive.
It’s very important to listen carefully and acknowledge whatever your ex shares with you.
3. Right the wrong. Take accountability for your actions that broke the trust. You can do this best by rectifying the problem. For example, if you were having a relationship with another person, make sure it is finished. If you stole something, return it. These are just examples to give you the lesson.
Go further and let your ex know when you are tempted by the same thing that broke their trust. Don’t do this to punish yourself. It is to demonstrate that you are taking responsibility. Your actions say more than do your words, at this time!
4. The secret is consistency. Use every opportunity to show that you have become trustworthy. Getting it wrong once at this stage can overshadow getting it right 10 times. Being honest and considerate in all things is the best way to do this.
5. You need patience. Don’t expect results straight away. It might take a long time to get the trust back, depending on the circumstances. But you will get there if you remain consistent. You have an excellent chance that your partner can and will trust you again.
Stop Your Breakup – Avoid These 5 Mistakes
July 12th, 2009It seems the list of reasons for a relationship blowing up is unending. Sometimes the list of things that irritate or infuriate us is so long it’s amazing that couples ever do stay together. But when you stop looking at every little individual thing, it’s possible to group reasons together, and you’ll find that when you do that, it is much easier to see what to avoid.
Most breakups are caused by the following triggers: Stop your break up by avoiding these mistakes.
1. Infidelity
This is a huge issue! Relationships require trust to endure, and an exclusive physical bond is usually an important part of cementing that trust. It’s very difficult to recover from a partner breaking our trust by having a physical relationship with someone else. If the relationship survives the initial incident there is always going to be doubt about the level of trust between you. Really, if you want to keep your relationship you should never have put yourself in this position to start with.
2. Boredom
Relationships sometimes just become boring. One or both of the partners will realize that they’re no longer having fun in the relationship. It is sad when a couple realizes they are now together from habit, no longer because of love. Restoring a flame is certainly possible, but when your relationship gets to this point you need to realize that it is going to take some real effort to pick it up and get going again.
3. Too Much Control/Not Enough Freedom
From either side of the fence this is dangerous. A controlling partner tries to change someone into their own idea of a perfect partner. They can’t trust the person to be themselves because they’re afraid of what they’d do with any kind of freedom. It is not easy to be in a relationship where there is no trust. Having a controlling partner is a true nightmare. You are just not able to do the things you love or to be yourself. You feel like you’re suffocating. It’s not the end of the road when a relationship goes down this path, but it is very difficult for a controlling partner to give up their control.
4. Conflicts
When you have a partner there are many things you could argue about. Money is one the top reasons for arguments. Sometimes it’s hard enough to run your own life without having to deal with someone else’s. Couples can argue over anything from the way he looked at another girl to the way she looks in a dress. It’s a very long list. If you find yourselves arguing a lot, take a look at the bigger picture. See if you’re arguing over annying little stuff, or whether you are frustrated over something deeper.
5. The Little Things
I’m talking about little irritations that over time become unendurable irritations. Anything from the way he chews his food to scratching his belly can be annoying and become more so with time. It’s usually pretty easy to work these out. Just relax and don’t let yourself get so annoyed. If you find that’s not possible, just let your partner know what’s annoying you. They might have no idea they’re annoying you, and can probably stop the behavior quite quickly.
If this article rings true for you and you would like more information to help you stop your breakup, we recommend this excellent guide.
Is There Hope for You to Get Your Ex Back? 3 Ways to Increase Your Chances
July 11th, 2009Are you feeling hopeless that you’ll ever get back together with your ex? After breaking up it’s natural to feel like that. But we need to have hope. Hope is the first step to getting back together. We don’t get far if we stop trying.
When we are down in the dumps, it seems impossible to ever feel the joy and excitement that comes from sharing a deep, loving relationship with the one you love.
But there is good news. You can get your ex back. There is hope.
There are quite a number of things you can do to get back with your ex. Here are just a few of them.
#1. Remove the focus of getting back together.
When we’re under pressure we don’t want to make decisions. If your ex has not been able to make a decision on getting back together, take away the pressure by focusing on something else,
Just relax and be yourself. Your ex will be more likely to love you again when they see the lovely person they first fell in love with.
I want to emphasize this. You do have an advantage because your ex already fell in love with you. Your ex once fell in love with who you really are. Whatever happened in your relationship, good or bad, you are still the person your ex once fell in love with.
The breakup no doubt brought up a lot of emotions, so you are probably acting quite differently than when you fell in love. When we’re hurting we tend to act from our emotions.
But try to strip your actions of all the extra things you might be focusing on right now and instead, just concentrate on being the wonderful, genuine, carefree, beautiful person you’ve always been. This is the best and most hopeful way to get your lover back with you.
#2. If your ex is dating someone else, present a positive contrast.
What do I mean by that? Let me explain…
To start with, you should always be yourself. But be your “best self”.
The best way to do that is not to compete with your ex’s new love interest. That can only make your situation worse.
When you are with your ex always stay positive and make it an enjoyable time together. You ex will feel a certain comfort and happiness around you when you are consistently having good experiences together.
And no matter how it appears on the outside, your ex’s new love interest has flaws too. It’s not always rosy between them. If you consistently make your ex comfortable being around you you can create a positive contrast from what your ex might experience with the new person. Obviously this makes it much easier for him / her to desire to get back together with you.
#3. Avoid doing anything that makes your ex defensive.
This truly goes against your goal of getting back together.
Be especially careful about asking personal questions. At a minimum this could make your ex feel uncomfortable, and could lead to an argument. If they have negative experiences with you, your ex probably won’t want to be with you at all.
It’s better to travel a path that has no negative history. Your ex will want to be with you more often when they feel relaxed and free to have a good time with you. This is how to get to making up with each other!
That’s three ideas to help you in your quest to get back together with your ex. Now you can get more innovative ideas, including a complete, step-by-step system to help you get back together with the one you love. When you are back together you will create and maintain a strong, happy, breakup-proof relationship.
Take the first step by watching the video on this blog. Then visit Win Back Love for the next steps.
Want Your Ex Back? The 3 Things You MUST Do
July 10th, 2009Do you want to get back together with your ex? Are you unsure how to win back their love? If that’s your situation, don’t worry. You’re not the only one.
Are you afraid to put yourself out there in your relationship with your ex? Would you like to ask them out, but are afraid of rejection?
I certainly understand if you are. It can feel like the risks are too great to take.
Can you get back together if your ex says he doesn’t want to?
What if your ex isn’t interested at all?
But then again, what if your ex is feeling like you do, and is simply afraid of taking that first step?
What if your ex does still want to get back together with you?
In my opinion, it’s certainly worth taking the risk. It’s worth trying. You CAN do it and get back with your ex.
In order for that to happen, a few things must happen.
1. You must stop any mistakes that are actually hurting your chances to get back together with your ex.
2. You must change the way your relationship functions. Remember that your ex never stopped loving the traits that attracted them to you in the first place. Your ex fell in love with you for who you are. The dynamics have changed, but your ex is still attracted to your basic characteristics. After you change the way your relationship functions at the basic levels you can win their love back.
3. You must get rid of the problems that caused the breakup. More than anything, you want to avoid a breakup cycle. Believe it or not, this is easier to accomplish than you might imagine.
But in order to get back together with your ex, action will need to take place. At some point, one of you will have to be strong enough to just go for it.
For more details on how to get your ex back, please visit Win Back Love, the best advice available, in my opinion.
Are You Heartbroken by a Breakup?
July 8th, 2009When I broke up with my girlfriend it was the hardest time in my life. I had no idea how to get her back, but I knew that was all I wanted. I read books and figured out what to do and even then made a ton of mistakes. But I did succeed, and I learnt a whole lot about people and how they feel and act. So I’m starting this blog to help anyone else who is in despair and wants to save their relationship or get back with their ex.
The book that helped me the most was Win Back Love.
I could be just what you need too, especially if you find you’re having any of the following problems:
- You try so hard to get back together with your lost love, only to be rebuffed, rejected, and disappointed;
- You got back together with your love, only to breakup again because you couldn’t resolve your differences;
- You are consumed with thoughts about your ex and been unable to think about anything else;
- You’ve been in a relationship and found it hard or even impossible to become even closer and have a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship; or
- You’ve been unable to get back together with someone because of distance between you or because of a long time apart.
If this describes you, the chances are you’ve been plagued by mistakes that not only prevent your chances of success, but almost guarantee your failure.
With relationships, like most things in life, there is a right way and a wrong way to do things.
But it really becomes a problem when doing the wrong things prevents you from getting back together with your lost love.
Win Back Love helped me see what I needed to do, and I eventually overcame these mistakes.
My goal in this blog is to help you in a similar way. I would appreciate it if you would comment on how you are doing, what has worked and what hasn’t and how you’re feeling about it.
If you just want to learn everything, get the Win Back Love book, but please stay with us on this blog, too, and report in from time to time!
So let’s stop the damage now and make sure you’re not making the biggest mistakes that push your love away from you and make reconciliation unlikely.
