Love Making Up

When a couple marries, they are making a commitment to stay together all their life. It is a beautiful vow that declares there is only one person that they want to be with, and they are prepared to stick with that person, “in sickness and in health, in good times and bad” for ever and ever. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work like that. Nearly half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Think about the last two weddings you went to. Statistically one of those marriages will fail.

When times are good it’s easy to stick together, but when times are harder people often look to ending the marriage as the easiest solution. But your marriage doesn’t have to end badly. With a little work you can save it and return to the happier times. There is a fairly simple 3 step process to go from your current situation where you have a problem with no apparent solution, to the situation where your marriage is happy and solid again.

Follow these 3 guidelines. You can get a more detailed step-by-step blueprint at Win Back Love.

Step One: Decide That You Want It

This is not as simple as it sounds. In fact it is probably the hardest step of the three. It’s easy for you to say you want to save your marriage. It’s similar to simply stating you want to lose weight. That isn’t enough to lose the weight. When you decide you want it you need to make this your number one focus in life. You need only one purpose in your life. Your purpose for existence is now simply this: saving your marriage. What is involved in that? If it means losing your job then you lose your job. If you aren’t prepared to do that your job is more important than your marriage. If it means not seeing your friends, then you simply don’t see your friends at this time. If you won’t do that, it’s obvious that your friends are more important than your spouse. You should always ask yourself if what you are doing will help fix your marriage. Make sure the answer is always yes.

Step Two: Figure Out What Is Wrong

Again, not so easy. Usually the things that trigger arguments aren’t the underlying problems, and it is the underlying problems you need to get to. Sit down with your partner, acknowledge things are not how you would like, and be open about how you are both feeling in the relationship. It’s usually best to let the man go first when you do this. You can get the conversation started by asking them what you can do to make them happier. Often a man’s first response to that will be sexual. Do not assume he’s just being flippant or crude. A man often needs a strong physical aspect to a relationship, so accept his response. Then say “Okay, what else.”

Step Three: Fix It

Once you have acknowledged a problem, and defined it, it becomes so much easier to actually see what the steps are to fixing it. The solution is almost always contained within the problem. If the problem is that your spouse doesn’t feel they get to spend enough time with you, the solution is obvious. In the same way, if they feel they need more time apart you can give them that. The important thing is to identify the real problems so that you know what to fix.

So there you have the tips to save your marriage. It may seem too simple, but if you use available strategies and take these steps you can save your marriage. Don’t give up!

When a couple breaks up it’s common for one of the partners to realize their feelings were much deeper than they had thought, and they would do anything to get their ex back again.

This can of course be difficult if certain things were said during the break up or if the relationship ended badly. It’s possible that your ex is avoiding you by cutting off communication with you and stopping going to the places you went together. If they don’t want anything to do with you it’s very difficult to get communication going again, and you may even have to allow them their cooling off period to show that you respect their wishes for time apart.

But after giving them some space, you need to find a way to tell them how you feel and that you want to get back together. Getting from them not talking to you to communicating again is quite sensitive.

1. The simplest way is to simply call and ask them if there’s a time you can catch up. If they are not talking to you at all you can expect a pretty chilly response to that. So remember that, and be ready to make a peace offering. A good place to start would be by saying you have some things you would like to apologize for, and ask if they would like to meet for coffee.

2. If you fail with the direct approach you could use the help of a go-between. Take care with this, as it can feel really bad to be caught between two friends. Find a friend that both you and your ex trust, and tell them how much you want to be back with your ex. Ask them if they would talk with your ex and find out if there is any way you can make up for your mistakes. And then leave it be. Don’t bug your friend, don’t expect a call the next day and don’t be offended if they say they don’t want to get involved (in fact, you should make sure they understand they are under no obligation to get involved – you are asking a big favor here). You need to be completely honest about the fact your goal is to get back together. Don’t try to play it cool. It’s too late for that.

3. If that doesn’t work, write how you feel in a letter. Remain sincere and don’t go on and on. When it is done let it sit for 24 hours then read over it again and make sure it says exactly what you want it to. With a letter, you want to make sure it gets to the person you’re writing to, and that the person opens it. Deliver it in person, and tell them you are sorry for the hurt you caused. Apologize to them. Ask them to read the letter and to then tell you if there is any way you can make it up to them.

When you are trying to re-establish contact with someone when a relationship has ended badly you have to be sincere and open yourself up for a rejection. Don’t be constantly after them, but give them some space and let them know they can get in touch with you whenever they want to talk it over.

Speak with your ex now. If these techniques don’t work, don’t fret. Check out Win Back Love: How To Get Back The Love Of Your Life, by Annalyn Caras. Her book is a complete step-by-step blueprint to get your ex back.

Take the following steps to get trust back. This is the best and most honest way to re-gain the trust of your ex.

1. Apologize. Trust building starts with a true, sincere, honest, heart-felt apology. You must show you are sorry for what you did wrong. Tell your ex that you know you caused them pain and broke their trust. Acknowledge that you are at fault. No excuses. And ask for nothing in return.

Perhaps you haven’t spoken to your ex for a while. That does not matter. Give them a call. You’ll feel better and so will they.

Remember, we’re not begging or bartering. We are making an apology. It’s always a good idea to apologize when it’s necessary.

2. Listen. At this point, it’s important to really listen to your ex. Remember never to make excuses. Acknowledge that they’re hurting. Obviously you don’t want to be judgemental, argumentative, or defensive.

It’s very important to listen carefully and acknowledge whatever your ex shares with you.

3. Right the wrong. Take accountability for your actions that broke the trust. You can do this best by rectifying the problem. For example, if you were having a relationship with another person, make sure it is finished. If you stole something, return it. These are just examples to give you the lesson.

Go further and let your ex know when you are tempted by the same thing that broke their trust. Don’t do this to punish yourself. It is to demonstrate that you are taking responsibility. Your actions say more than do your words, at this time!

4. The secret is consistency. Use every opportunity to show that you have become trustworthy. Getting it wrong once at this stage can overshadow getting it right 10 times. Being honest and considerate in all things is the best way to do this.

5. You need patience. Don’t expect results straight away. It might take a long time to get the trust back, depending on the circumstances. But you will get there if you remain consistent. You have an excellent chance that your partner can and will trust you again.