Love Making Up

Take the following steps to get trust back. This is the best and most honest way to re-gain the trust of your ex.

1. Apologize. Trust building starts with a true, sincere, honest, heart-felt apology. You must show you are sorry for what you did wrong. Tell your ex that you know you caused them pain and broke their trust. Acknowledge that you are at fault. No excuses. And ask for nothing in return.

Perhaps you haven’t spoken to your ex for a while. That does not matter. Give them a call. You’ll feel better and so will they.

Remember, we’re not begging or bartering. We are making an apology. It’s always a good idea to apologize when it’s necessary.

2. Listen. At this point, it’s important to really listen to your ex. Remember never to make excuses. Acknowledge that they’re hurting. Obviously you don’t want to be judgemental, argumentative, or defensive.

It’s very important to listen carefully and acknowledge whatever your ex shares with you.

3. Right the wrong. Take accountability for your actions that broke the trust. You can do this best by rectifying the problem. For example, if you were having a relationship with another person, make sure it is finished. If you stole something, return it. These are just examples to give you the lesson.

Go further and let your ex know when you are tempted by the same thing that broke their trust. Don’t do this to punish yourself. It is to demonstrate that you are taking responsibility. Your actions say more than do your words, at this time!

4. The secret is consistency. Use every opportunity to show that you have become trustworthy. Getting it wrong once at this stage can overshadow getting it right 10 times. Being honest and considerate in all things is the best way to do this.

5. You need patience. Don’t expect results straight away. It might take a long time to get the trust back, depending on the circumstances. But you will get there if you remain consistent. You have an excellent chance that your partner can and will trust you again.

It seems the list of reasons for a relationship blowing up is unending. Sometimes the list of things that irritate or infuriate us is so long it’s amazing that couples ever do stay together. But when you stop looking at every little individual thing, it’s possible to group reasons together, and you’ll find that when you do that, it is much easier to see what to avoid.

Most breakups are caused by the following triggers: Stop your break up by avoiding these mistakes.

1. Infidelity

This is a huge issue! Relationships require trust to endure, and an exclusive physical bond is usually an important part of cementing that trust. It’s very difficult to recover from a partner breaking our trust by having a physical relationship with someone else. If the relationship survives the initial incident there is always going to be doubt about the level of trust between you. Really, if you want to keep your relationship you should never have put yourself in this position to start with.

2. Boredom

Relationships sometimes just become boring. One or both of the partners will realize that they’re no longer having fun in the relationship. It is sad when a couple realizes they are now together from habit, no longer because of love. Restoring a flame is certainly possible, but when your relationship gets to this point you need to realize that it is going to take some real effort to pick it up and get going again.

3. Too Much Control/Not Enough Freedom

From either side of the fence this is dangerous. A controlling partner tries to change someone into their own idea of a perfect partner. They can’t trust the person to be themselves because they’re afraid of what they’d do with any kind of freedom. It is not easy to be in a relationship where there is no trust. Having a controlling partner is a true nightmare. You are just not able to do the things you love or to be yourself. You feel like you’re suffocating. It’s not the end of the road when a relationship goes down this path, but it is very difficult for a controlling partner to give up their control.

4. Conflicts

When you have a partner there are many things you could argue about. Money is one the top reasons for arguments. Sometimes it’s hard enough to run your own life without having to deal with someone else’s. Couples can argue over anything from the way he looked at another girl to the way she looks in a dress. It’s a very long list. If you find yourselves arguing a lot, take a look at the bigger picture. See if you’re arguing over annying little stuff, or whether you are frustrated over something deeper.

5. The Little Things

I’m talking about little irritations that over time become unendurable irritations. Anything from the way he chews his food to scratching his belly can be annoying and become more so with time. It’s usually pretty easy to work these out. Just relax and don’t let yourself get so annoyed. If you find that’s not possible, just let your partner know what’s annoying you. They might have no idea they’re annoying you, and can probably stop the behavior quite quickly.

If this article rings true for you and you would like more information to help you stop your breakup, we recommend this excellent guide.