Love Making Up

When a couple marries, they are making a commitment to stay together all their life. It is a beautiful vow that declares there is only one person that they want to be with, and they are prepared to stick with that person, “in sickness and in health, in good times and bad” for ever and ever. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work like that. Nearly half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Think about the last two weddings you went to. Statistically one of those marriages will fail.

When times are good it’s easy to stick together, but when times are harder people often look to ending the marriage as the easiest solution. But your marriage doesn’t have to end badly. With a little work you can save it and return to the happier times. There is a fairly simple 3 step process to go from your current situation where you have a problem with no apparent solution, to the situation where your marriage is happy and solid again.

Follow these 3 guidelines. You can get a more detailed step-by-step blueprint at Win Back Love.

Step One: Decide That You Want It

This is not as simple as it sounds. In fact it is probably the hardest step of the three. It’s easy for you to say you want to save your marriage. It’s similar to simply stating you want to lose weight. That isn’t enough to lose the weight. When you decide you want it you need to make this your number one focus in life. You need only one purpose in your life. Your purpose for existence is now simply this: saving your marriage. What is involved in that? If it means losing your job then you lose your job. If you aren’t prepared to do that your job is more important than your marriage. If it means not seeing your friends, then you simply don’t see your friends at this time. If you won’t do that, it’s obvious that your friends are more important than your spouse. You should always ask yourself if what you are doing will help fix your marriage. Make sure the answer is always yes.

Step Two: Figure Out What Is Wrong

Again, not so easy. Usually the things that trigger arguments aren’t the underlying problems, and it is the underlying problems you need to get to. Sit down with your partner, acknowledge things are not how you would like, and be open about how you are both feeling in the relationship. It’s usually best to let the man go first when you do this. You can get the conversation started by asking them what you can do to make them happier. Often a man’s first response to that will be sexual. Do not assume he’s just being flippant or crude. A man often needs a strong physical aspect to a relationship, so accept his response. Then say “Okay, what else.”

Step Three: Fix It

Once you have acknowledged a problem, and defined it, it becomes so much easier to actually see what the steps are to fixing it. The solution is almost always contained within the problem. If the problem is that your spouse doesn’t feel they get to spend enough time with you, the solution is obvious. In the same way, if they feel they need more time apart you can give them that. The important thing is to identify the real problems so that you know what to fix.

So there you have the tips to save your marriage. It may seem too simple, but if you use available strategies and take these steps you can save your marriage. Don’t give up!

Take the following steps to get trust back. This is the best and most honest way to re-gain the trust of your ex.

1. Apologize. Trust building starts with a true, sincere, honest, heart-felt apology. You must show you are sorry for what you did wrong. Tell your ex that you know you caused them pain and broke their trust. Acknowledge that you are at fault. No excuses. And ask for nothing in return.

Perhaps you haven’t spoken to your ex for a while. That does not matter. Give them a call. You’ll feel better and so will they.

Remember, we’re not begging or bartering. We are making an apology. It’s always a good idea to apologize when it’s necessary.

2. Listen. At this point, it’s important to really listen to your ex. Remember never to make excuses. Acknowledge that they’re hurting. Obviously you don’t want to be judgemental, argumentative, or defensive.

It’s very important to listen carefully and acknowledge whatever your ex shares with you.

3. Right the wrong. Take accountability for your actions that broke the trust. You can do this best by rectifying the problem. For example, if you were having a relationship with another person, make sure it is finished. If you stole something, return it. These are just examples to give you the lesson.

Go further and let your ex know when you are tempted by the same thing that broke their trust. Don’t do this to punish yourself. It is to demonstrate that you are taking responsibility. Your actions say more than do your words, at this time!

4. The secret is consistency. Use every opportunity to show that you have become trustworthy. Getting it wrong once at this stage can overshadow getting it right 10 times. Being honest and considerate in all things is the best way to do this.

5. You need patience. Don’t expect results straight away. It might take a long time to get the trust back, depending on the circumstances. But you will get there if you remain consistent. You have an excellent chance that your partner can and will trust you again.

It seems the list of reasons for a relationship blowing up is unending. Sometimes the list of things that irritate or infuriate us is so long it’s amazing that couples ever do stay together. But when you stop looking at every little individual thing, it’s possible to group reasons together, and you’ll find that when you do that, it is much easier to see what to avoid.

Most breakups are caused by the following triggers: Stop your break up by avoiding these mistakes.

1. Infidelity

This is a huge issue! Relationships require trust to endure, and an exclusive physical bond is usually an important part of cementing that trust. It’s very difficult to recover from a partner breaking our trust by having a physical relationship with someone else. If the relationship survives the initial incident there is always going to be doubt about the level of trust between you. Really, if you want to keep your relationship you should never have put yourself in this position to start with.

2. Boredom

Relationships sometimes just become boring. One or both of the partners will realize that they’re no longer having fun in the relationship. It is sad when a couple realizes they are now together from habit, no longer because of love. Restoring a flame is certainly possible, but when your relationship gets to this point you need to realize that it is going to take some real effort to pick it up and get going again.

3. Too Much Control/Not Enough Freedom

From either side of the fence this is dangerous. A controlling partner tries to change someone into their own idea of a perfect partner. They can’t trust the person to be themselves because they’re afraid of what they’d do with any kind of freedom. It is not easy to be in a relationship where there is no trust. Having a controlling partner is a true nightmare. You are just not able to do the things you love or to be yourself. You feel like you’re suffocating. It’s not the end of the road when a relationship goes down this path, but it is very difficult for a controlling partner to give up their control.

4. Conflicts

When you have a partner there are many things you could argue about. Money is one the top reasons for arguments. Sometimes it’s hard enough to run your own life without having to deal with someone else’s. Couples can argue over anything from the way he looked at another girl to the way she looks in a dress. It’s a very long list. If you find yourselves arguing a lot, take a look at the bigger picture. See if you’re arguing over annying little stuff, or whether you are frustrated over something deeper.

5. The Little Things

I’m talking about little irritations that over time become unendurable irritations. Anything from the way he chews his food to scratching his belly can be annoying and become more so with time. It’s usually pretty easy to work these out. Just relax and don’t let yourself get so annoyed. If you find that’s not possible, just let your partner know what’s annoying you. They might have no idea they’re annoying you, and can probably stop the behavior quite quickly.

If this article rings true for you and you would like more information to help you stop your breakup, we recommend this excellent guide.